It’s time to unleash your burning questions. Not sure what to put on your checklist for the day before the wedding? Dreading the “joint finances” talk? Don’t know where to go to get your last name changed? Send in your Qs to firstname.lastname@example.org, and I will personally respond!
Question: How did you handle the professional transition to a new last name? When you changed your name, were you worried it would affect your personal “brand” as a career woman? – Sarah
Answer: It hasn’t been easy, and I was definitely worried! My last name is now officially Walch (that sounds so great to say!) I do still go by Kornberg Walch professionally. The other day, someone told me that sounded like a dessert. I must be doing something right then! I started my career six years ago as a style writer under my maiden name, and it’s important that I don’t lose – or confuse – those important contacts. Also, the whole Plan My Wedding process, which launched my weddings writer “brand,” took place under Allison Kornberg, so I want my readers and resources to recognize me as I write on. Kornberg Walch has been the perfect compromise. I must say though, as a newlywed and married life blogger, the new name fits into the “brand” quite nicely.
Question: Help! It’s the day before my wedding and I have no idea where to go to get my ring cleaned! -Shoshana
Answer: Any local diamond jeweler should be able to provide ring cleaning services, though some may charge you. Have you tried going straight to the source? Tiffany & Co., or Zales, for instance, guarantees lifetime cleaning services with a purchase of one of their pieces. Did you go through an independent, wholesale jeweler or family friend to get the ring? Ask them for nearby suggestions that may be gratis. I remember going into a jeweler (from whom I didn’t buy my ring) and they happily obliged. If you’re looking for an at-home option, try Goddard’s Jewelry Cleaner (http://www.goddards.com/html/products/productDetail.php?id=10). A friend gave a case to me when I got engaged and I seriously can’t live without it!
Question: How much do I spend on my colleague’s wedding gift? - Robert
Answer: I find that $70 -$100 is a nice gift, especially if it’s a colleague you’d like to maintain a relationship with. If you’re attending solo and don’t want to spend that amount, a $50 purchase off their registry is also generous. I always suggest buying off the couple’s registry, or purchasing a gift certificate where they are registered, because you know you’re gifting them with something they need and want.
Question: One of my bridesmaids gets a little wild with the booze. I’m worried she’s going to do something over the top at the wedding. What should I do? – Anonymous
Answer: This is a tough one. If you’ve already asked her to be a bridesmaid, I wouldn’t bring up the topic before the wedding. It is possible that she does have a serious drinking problem and needs assistance immediately. In the meantime, I wouldn’t give her tasks that you deem extremely important; i.e., bringing your dress to the hotel, getting the Best Man the wedding bands, delivering a note to your groom before the ceremony. Have your Maid of Honor be responsible for those. Maybe your MOH can keep an extra close, friendly eye on her, too, to make sure that she isn’t overdrinking. If she’s spending too much time at the open bar, your MOH can cheerfully move her onto the dance floor. You might be worried about speeches, too. If she plans on giving a speech, maybe make sure that she gives it with another bridesmaid. That way, they can balance each other out when need be. There’s nothing wrong with your saying that you don’t want anything inappropriate about your teenage years abroad together in the speech. J
Question: My husband and I can’t agree on when to have kids … – Anonymous
Answer: I have heard from so many couples who ruin their relationships over this very question. It’s best to have the ”baby conversation” prior to getting engaged to ensure that you are on the same page. Now, that’s not to say that the page will be rewritten throughout your marriage and you may find yourselves with differing views. An interesting article in Parents magazine details first-hand accounts from mothers who have given birth for the first time at all different ages – 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s. There were advantages and disadvantages for each. The mother in her 20s, for instance, reported financial pressures. The mother in her 50s has never felt more confident and worldly, and yet gets slapped with the grandmother card all the time. You can read the full article here: http://www.parents.com/pregnancy/getting-pregnant/age-factor/whats-the-best-age-to-have-a-baby/
Have you thought about the possibly of not being able to conceive? Would you both feel comfortable with adoption? How about In Vitro Fertilization?
Question: What do I do with my wedding ring? Do I wear it every day? At the gym? To yoga? - Daphne
For me personally, I’d say wear it every day. Yup, to the gym and to yoga. I’d rather be wearing it than wondering where I left it when I took it off for the gym or yoga – or even worse, plain losing it. I’ll even wear mine in the shower or leave it within eyeshot of the shower so that I can put it back on as soon as I get out.
Another option is to purchase a plain band and wear that as a place holder. That way, you can take out your ring for fancier occasions or wedding anniversaries. If you have a safe, you can put the nicer ring there.
Question: I think I moved in too soon and now he’s never going to propose – Sarah
Sarah, fear not. Living in sin these days actually promotes, rather than competes, with marriage, according to a recent study for the Office for National Statistics. In fact, eighty percent of couples who marry have lived together first. If you’re worried that you’re the other 20 percent, it might be time to have a heart to heart with your boyfriend. Keep me posted.
Question: Where should I go to get my wedding dress cleaned? - Lola
Don’t underestimate the import of taking your dress to a professional cleaner. I’ve heard horror stories from brides who’ve taken their gowns to their local, trusty dry cleaners only to come back with shriveled-up rags. Prices can be quite steep if you go with a professional cleaning service such as J. Scheer & Co., which is recommended by Saks Bridal (here’s a video of their work featured on Martha Stewart: http://www.jscheer.com/preservation/bridal.php#video ). If their price (up to $1,000) is too steep, try myweddinggownpreservation.com , affordablepreservation.com, or www.margarets.com. Also, be sure to view The Knot’s list of additional resources: http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-resources/wedding-dress-preservation.aspx
Won’t your unborn daughter be thrilled?